Scary

I have never been so scared in my life. I can think of nothing scarier that I will see in my life, at least I hope. Most of you have heard how it went down, but for my sake and the sake of my blog, I cannot leave it out of this digital "scrapbook". A few weeks ago, while changing the cat litter in the basement, I heard Jillian cry from her room. I remember asking Kara if that was Jillian crying b/c she had just come down to the basement from upstairs. Kara said yes. I had asked Kara, b/c the cry sounded not like Jillian and I had thought that maybe it was Caden waking from his nap. It was time for Jillian to get up anyway from her nap, as I had started the van to warm it up and was ready to pick the kids up from school and head off to work. It took me maybe a minute to get to Jillian b/c I was finishing the cat litter. I walked into her room, said hello like I always do when she wakes up, went to turn her "white noise" fan off, and noticed she wasn't standing up in her crib like always. I turned to expect seeing her being lazy and rolling around in the crib, but what I saw instead was something I will never, for as long as I live, forget. Jillian was face down on her stomach with her head turned and smashed up against the corner of the crib, blue and gagging. My adrenaline immediately started pumping. I thought she was choking and I remember yelling out her name (why, you ask? I DON'T KNOW!! I was NOT in my right mind) and then sweeping her mouth out noticing the copius amounts of saliva/mucous. I thought she might have reached something on the girls' dresser or someone put something in her crib that she swallowed. In a split second, I noticed her eyes were rolled back and then I realized she was having whole body convulsions. It was like something out of a movie. I quick grabbed her up (which you're not supposed to do when someone is seizing, but like I said, I was not in my right mind and she was blue). I ran her downstairs to the living room where I placed her on the living room floor and began crying. My baby was blue, and seizing. And not only had I never seen a real live person having a grand mal seizure, I was witnesing it from one of my own five children who had NEVER had ANYTHING like this happen before..........