OOTMOB:February Edition

Mom: (yelling) Caden! Come Here!
Caden: (running up stairs) Yes, Ma'am, mom?

Ryan comes down the stairs ready for school with his "hooters" tshirt on.....
Mom: Uh, you can't wear that to school
Ryan: (whining) But....why???????????
Mom: Because you can't....
Ryan: But, mom....(whining, and getting ready for rebuttal)
Mom: Ryan, fine, Hooters is another name for girls' boobies
Ryan: (whipping the shirt off) I am NOT wearing this! I can't believe hooters means girls' boobies! DAAAAAAAAAAAD! Does hooters mean girls' boobies?
Dad: Yeah, whatever Ryan!

Ryan on lactose intolerant: Mom, what does "black toast and tolerant" mean?

Kara: I don't want to be a mom
Mom: Why?
Kara: Because I don't want to yell at kids all day, AND I don't want you to be an old grandma!
Mom: Well, if your kids are good, you won't have to yell at them!

Preface: I am always telling Kaylee not to get married (ok, this is horrible and I need to stop saying that, but I do it in a joking manner)....so this is how this one goes now that you know what I tell her about getting married:
I am on the phone with the car dealer and Ron and getting frustrated over purchasing our van. I get off the phone, not realizing that the kids are listening to my disgust the whole time, so I turn around and they are staring at me......
Mom: Don't ever buy a car!!
Kaylee: Great! Now I can't have a husband OR a car!

Ryan: I saw on the news how this little girl got taken, and I can't stop thinking about what might happen to me!
Mom (reassuring): I would never let anything happen to YOU!
Ryan: I love it when you're home and not at work, and do you know why I love you so much? I love you so much b/c I was in your belly and I KNOW what it's like in there!