May 2009

Wow, this is the third year I have blogged around this time of year about my Dad...the time of year he passed. The first year, I got it all out there..out of my head, onto this blog...and it felt great. The second year I did a Thankful Thursday post including a thought about him and a link to the prior years' post. This year, when I was going through old pics, etc., I came across the eulogy I wrote that my cousin, Christopher, so graciously read for me at my dad's funeral. So, I thought this year, I would blog what I said in that eulogy...

I think everyone who had been close to our Dad in the past few years knows what a trying time it had been for him. First with the loss of his job when Doehler-Jarvis closed, and then with his diagnosis of cancer. It seems that a lot of things in his life didn't go smoothly for him, that he always got the short end of the stick. Still, he never complained about any of it. He was a single parent who raised two children and never thought twice about it. He was a cancer victim who, despite the pain he must have had, always tried to say he felt fine to the ones who cared about him. You really had to beg him to tell you how he really felt. He was always concerned about how other people felt and how we were doing. He worried about everyone else and not himself. Even in facing death, he always kept a positive attitude which is what I believe gave him two more years to be here with all of us. He didn't give up. He pushed himself to extremes to keep doing the things he enjoyed, even though there were days we knew he didn't want to get out of bed. The last thing Eric and I got to say to him was that we loved him. We told him we were proud of him for raising us without any complaints. He did it because he loved us and we were important in his life. He did it because he was a responsible person. It wasn't easy for him and he worked a lot of overtime to support us. We told him we were grateful for that.
We know that he had some regrets about the way he lived his life and we have regrets as well. But, we made our choices and we can't go back. However, everyone close to him had seen the changes in our Dad these past two years. After his diagnosis, he seemed to laugh and smile more. He had a tremendous sense of humor and light heartedness. He didn't ever want anyone to fight regardless of the reason. He told me that life is too short to spend it mad at the people you care most about. Years ago he wouldn't have said this. The last two years were the best two years, yet they were the worst two years. We had come to really enjoy and genuinely like our father and I think others feel this way too. He was a strong man and we will miss him terribly. We can only be consoled by knowing that he can take a deep breath now, and maybe enjoy a steak and baked potato! There is no more struggling for you Dad. Kaylee says "Bampa no sick"..and she's right. We love you...